STORY TIME

On today's episode of "Stories that touch the heart and inflame the liver...."

I am one of those people that used to eat "swallow" (garri/soup) with fork.
It's a habit I picked up mainly because I'm kind of a messy eater and my family members could no longer bear sharing their food with me. 😋
😁

So one day I'm in the cafeteria having a late lunch after having quite a day at work. On this particular day there was no soap at work to decontaminate my hands, just water and my hand sanitizer. I wasn't feeling too comfortable eating 'swallow' with my hands so I requested for a fork.

Halfway into my meal this guy comes up behind me and exclaims "Who is this one eating eba with fork"?
I let out a tired smile and shut my eyes willing him to go away so I could grub in peace.
I open my eyes and he is seated opposite me and has launched into a monologue of how we Nigerians are losing our culture and embracing the white man's culture (case in point, my using a fork to eat eba. Sacrilege!)
                                                             
  He further went on to lament how the Akwa Ibom people have now let the Ibo's take over business in the state and how we are now marrying outsiders who will now come and dilute our culture.
He was particularly upset that the younger generation are not being encouraged to speak their native dialect which puts it in danger of extinction.

Mind you the entire time he was talking, he spoke only in Ibibio, some things he said were lost in translation. When he was done he now asked me what I thought of all  he said (Now it was my turn to watch him eat)

 I started speaking in English and the look he gave me could have turned me into a pillar of salt..

Fast forward to yesterday, I overheard the cab driver saying that " Thank God Anambra state is now producing rice, so that when Buhari finally scatters Nigeria, we in Biafra would eat our rice and the rest of you will eat your crude oil"

Moral of this plenty story ?
Since that fateful day, I have not eaten swallow with fork again, and it's not for lack of trying.
I feel concerned. Have I been bewinched?

KEEPING UP WITH THE MILLENIALS: SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES

Disclaimer: The sexiest thing a married man can say to me is "I'd talk to my wife about it".

On today's episode of "Keeping up with the Millennials..."

Today's word of the day is SUB.

Sub is derived from the word SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE.

According to the Collins dictionary, a subliminal message is a message passed to the human mind without the mind being consciously aware of it.

In other words the message is picked up on by your subconscious even without you being aware that a message has been passed across.
It's a marketing tool usually employed in advertising to get you thinking about their product when you don't even realize you're doing it.

The Urban Dictionary defines a SUB as an underhanded comment directed at a specific person meant to insult/embarrass them publicly on a social networking site (usually Facebook).

If you thought subs just started with this generation. Think again.
Nigerian aunties/mommies have been subbing people since the beginning of time.
For example:

Nigerian mommy to Oyibo Pepper:
Is this how you would be doing in your husband's house? (Translation: When will you marry?)

Nigerian aunty to Oyibo Pepper:
 We are waiting for you to send us to the market o! (Translation: When will you marry?)

Nigerian aunty to Oyibo Pepper:
I'm expecting your card. (Translation: When will you marry?)

It's a beautiful morning people. Go forth and be awesome!

MOSES: A lesson in disobedience

Have you ever wondered if God was a bit too harsh for not allowing Moses to enter the Promise Land because of a little disobedience?

Lemme share a sermon I listened to some 13 years ago about the ten plagues of Egypt.

Plague 2
And the Lord spake unto Moses, Say unto Aaron, Stretch forth thine hand WITH THY ROD over the streams, over the rivers, and over the ponds, and cause frogs to come up upon the land of Egypt.
And Aaron stretched out his HAND over the waters of Egypt; and the frogs came up, and covered the land of Egypt.  And the MAGICIANS did so with their enchantments, and brought up frogs upon the land of Egypt. Exodus 8:5‭-‬7 KJV

So Aaron stretched out only his hands (without his rod) and sure enough the frogs came. But what was the catch? The magicians were still able to do the same thing.

Plague 3
The plague of lice happened just as God said it would  because Moses & Co followed his instructions to the letter and here's the interesting part; the magicians tried to replicate the plague and failed woefully. Exodus 8:16-18

Plague 7
And the Lord said unto Moses, Stretch forth thine HAND toward heaven, that there may be hail in all the land of Egypt, upon man, and upon beast, and upon every herb of the field, throughout the land of Egypt.
And Moses stretched forth his ROD toward heaven: and the Lord sent thunder and hail, and the fire ran along upon the ground; and the Lord rained hail upon the land of Egypt.
Exodus 9:22- 23 KJV

So instead of just sending just hail on the land of Egypt, God sent a mixture of hail/thunder/fire simply because Moses didn't follow instruction to the letter.

Same for the plague of locusts and the turning of Moses rod to a snake...

Till this day I carry the lesson I learnt from that sermon with me.
Partial obedience to God is no obedience at all.