Ethnic Resentment

Disclaimer:
"When people assume I'm Yoruba and speak it to me, I reply in Igbo since they want to reenact scenes from the Tower of Babel."
                             -@PyjamasRich

"Stop behaving like Etinan people."
That's what my momma would say to keep me in check anytime I started behaving like the devil's spawn. I never really understood what she meant by that but I'd be so butt hurt every time she said it, I'd immediately revert to my default settings.

Up until now.
I've lived in Uyo for close to three months now and from my interactions, a lot of people are pleasantly surprised to learn that I'm an Ibibio woman. Then I tell them I'm from Etinan LGA and I can see the subtle change in their expression, like someone poured them a bucket of cold water.

 Well imagine my bewilderment earlier today while speaking with a learned friend and I casually mentioned I was from Etinan, the first word that left his mouth was "Eh?!" (mind you this person is not from Akwa Ibom o).
So apparently, according to him, we are notorious for witchcraft and our women don't value their marriage.
Wonderful.

Ethnic resentment.
See the thing about this ethnic resentment of a thing, it's so deeply rooted yet so subtle you barely notice it's there, not until the person you've been dating for close to four years wakes up one morning to tell you that his parents won't sanction his marrying anyone but an Anambra lady. Toh
It pops up in words like "Federal Character", "Catchment area", "Biafra"....and you just wonder, why so much venom?

If you chose to form an opinion of me based on where I come from without getting to know me first,  chale I've got news for you: It is not me you are doing, you are doing yourself.

P.S enough with the moon jokes already. The only other thing worse than ethnic resentment is the religious kind.

                      <<end of rant>>

Who Gambling Don Epp?

There are two vices that have slowly taken hold of young men in our Nigerian society today, so much so the statistics(if they are anything to go by) would alarm you. I'm talking about drugs and gambling.

You know there was a time when it was the "wayward" boys that did drugs. Well not anymore.
It has become a fast growing culture in our universities.
What's more, as a society we are ill equipped to handle these addicts as evidenced by the paucity of drug rehab centers in the country. I mean who needs rehab centers when there are deliverance ministers who can cast the evil spirits out.
I digress but what's up with young men and the bushy unkempt hair they keep these days? I hate to stereotype but you'd have to be on drugs to be seen on the streets looking like a scruffian. Pfft.

Then there's the gambling(aka betting). Bet9ja franchises are practically springing up on every street corner these days and they have no want for customers esp when European football is on TV. The amount of money these lads spend in these betting centres and online on a weekly basis would damn near give you an aneurysm.
Correct me if I'm wrong but nobody ever got filthy rich off betting.
Or in Nigerian parlance, who gambling don epp?

Domestic Violence

Disclaimer: "If a marriage is dead, give it a decent burial".

Ronke Shonde.
The name that spurred a thousand and one think pieces on Facebook.
This month's poster child for domestic violence.
And another one bites the dust...

I mean what I say when I say that the highest form of psychological torture is staying married to a person you have to endure.
I shudder each time to think of the number of Nigerian women who 'exist' in abusive marriages simply because they are afraid of what society would say if they spoke out or left.

And boy! Society really does have plenty to say.
Your pastor tells you to pray and submit to your abusive husband. Afterall the church does not believe in divorce (or separation)
Your mother tells you not to do things to "trigger" his anger.
Facebook relationship pundits tell you to go and watch War Room.
The police don't have your back, the law isn't on your side either.

In a society where marriage is a status symbol and divorce is frowned upon, what you are is helpless/stuck/afraid.

I'm no authority on the subject of domestic abuse but I'd say this one thing, if you are in an abusive relationship(emotional, psychological or physical), my dear sister pack your load and find the nearest exit.

Save yourself. A little selfishness never hurt any body.
If that man maims or worse kills you, Facebook will rant about it for max one week and it would be on to the next sensational headline..
They would hold one minute silence in your honor, and even then some people will use fifteen seconds out of that one minute to cough and clear their throat.
The kids you were desperately holding onto your marriage for are going to be left in the care of relatives or God forbid your good for nothing husband(and his new wife)
You would become another statistic. Another cautionary tale.



End. Of. Rant.